Happiness Forgets, Hoxton

  • DATE #93
  • Written by Kitty Wakeful (Guest Author)
  • 5 years ago
Keeping away from the Joneses
Bling
Rating
Booze
Rating
Sex
Factor

The Vibe

At last! An underground, dimly lit, immoderately priced, completely delicious cocktail bar that doesn’t pose as a Prohibition bar. Happiness Forgets has the illicit romance of the speakeasy with none of the pretension that has spread its atavistic tentacles across London. Behold the emperor in all his nakedness. Alcohol is legal. F. Scott Fitzgerald’s flappers who resolved to ‘eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die’ had to bear the psychological scars of the First World War and the vice crusading of the temperance movement. We, meanwhile, may binge drink to our hearts’ content. Come and see for yourself on Hoxton Square, Monday-Saturday, 5.30-11pm. Happiness Forgets bills itself as high end cocktails in a low rent basement. That is its vibe: vibing.

The Order

Earl Grey Mar-TEA-ni (geddit?) tastes of tea, through the light froth of egg white and the thickest of colds. It’s served in a small saucer and is the place to start before moving your way through the cocktail menu, none of which disappointed. I’d love to pretend I can remember their ingredients (mixology? Is it a science?) but I’d do my considerable enjoyment of the place a disservice. Martinis contain olives – perhaps the most promising way to line your stomach as the only edible alternatives are well-executed, wholly sexless Thai bites (prawn toast, spring rolls, chicken satay). For the churlish, champagne flows at £7.50 a glass and beer is available by the bottle.

The Game

Take a Hackney hipster. Hoxton Square died decades ago so their heart will sink as you lead them towards that awful bar at the north-west end, its literal Underbelly. The relief upon arrival will overwhelm, as will the charm of the staff, if not you. They’ll be yours forever. Book in advance, asking to sit side by side on a bench or at the bar.

The Faults

Shame about the neighbours, though its address secures it as a diamond in the rough.

Sex Factor

5. Dating then mating.

 

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