Milk and Honey, Soho

Keep the lights off

The Vibe

“The darker the better”, says the seasoned dater who favours the cover of darkness for her nightly pursuits .  Milk and Honey is a welcome enclave for the vampiric amongst us. It’s a like a piss up in an underground bombshelter, albeit with glorious cocktails, impeccable styling and an intimidatingly exclusive demeanour. Part of a string of members clubs, civilians can book a table during the week, if only for a couple of hours.  Manage to find the entrance, which resembles a rusty garage door, and the hostess will buzz you into the den where candlelight, booths and smooth barmen await. For novelty factor, it’s an impressive first date, as soon as your eyes adjust.

The Order

It’s almost too dark to see the menu but if you want to fit in and endear yourself to the barman then order off the menu. Your waiter will take this cue to reel off the myriad options.  Sweet or sour, bourbon or whiskey, dry or wet, it’s exhausting.  Brownie points for getting through this order without breaking a sweat. When the cocktails arrive they are beautifully crafted, albeit crowded by an over- imposing ice blocks that necessitate speedy top ups.

The Game

There are intimidating hurdles you need to get through before this will pay off. 1. Find the door quickly (buzzer on the right of the giant garage, second down).  2. Look the hostess in the eye when you give your name and wait comfortably for her to call through to the bar to check. 3. If they give you one of the squat two-man tables at the front, politely ask to be moved to one of the vacant tables further back.  4. Be at ease with the 20 questions when it comes to ordering drinks. 5. Bat away every attempt to bore you with more bourbon questions the next round with a simple  ‘same again’.  Now you can settle into the date and chit chat. But keep it light hearted, this place is serious enough.

The Faults

The wow factor will wear off after an hour or two so move the date speedily to the next location, like the ebullient Barrio Central round the corner for some music and slightly less serious cocktails.

Sex Factor

4. It’s a coffin of cool. Get in, get out, then drink the night away somewhere more playful.

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