Alleycat Club, Soho

There are no rules about heavy petting in here

The Vibe

I don’t pretend to be remotely rock and roll, nor have I the ability to distinguish a vintage rock classic from the newest Strokes banger. However, I can appreciate the charm of a place that manages  to hark back to the glory days of the rock genre, Rolling Stones et al, without the painful paraphernalia that the Hard Rock café indulges in. Enter the basement club and the diminutive room is darker than dark, with corners galore at the back and a little space to dance opposite a stage for the live music.  For the fans out there, The Kinks recorded ‘You Really Got Me’ here, amongst other big acts, and the nightly live music is something your date, regardless of taste, will have to appreciate. With the odd appearance of an eccentric, whiskey-swilling rocker or two there is always plenty of conversational fodder to be had from your vantage point at the back (if hesitant to head bang with the best of them).

The Order

Whiskey on the rocks, vodka on the rocks, chase it with a beer. This is the perfect place for ladies to demonstrate a little bit of edge (just make sure you can take it before you knock back the third beaker of the straight stuff).

The Game

It is really very easy. Turn up lateish (after 11) and the live band is over, so the focus is on the drinking and the corner table heavy petting. The combination of hard liquor burning down her throat and the need to speak far too close (on account on a ludicrously loud speaker) introduces the kiss scenario as an inevitability. And once you do, there are no rules about heavy petting in here. To straddle and grope in this place is a must.

The Faults

Alleycat Club is too loud if you really do want to talk through the big facts of life. Too dark and drunk if you want to make an informed decision. Often peppered with the odd underage rocker, but then don’t we  all look fondly back to our juvenile Red Hot Chilli Pepper’s Otherside phase?

Sex Factor

4.5. Because of the intense heavy petting, you may have had your fill by the end of the night and not risk making the journey back to theirs. If the mood persists though, you can easily pour him/her out of one dark den and into the next one.


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