Tommi’s Burger Joint, Marylebone

  • DATE #129
  • Written by Rob Jacubowicz (Guest Author)
  • 4 years ago
tommis burger joint
Best (sloppiest) burger in town
Bling
Rating
Booze
Rating
Sex
Factor

The Vibe

Overnight, Soho and the surrounding area has become inundated with new burger joints each boasting a ‘unique’ and simplistic approach to the art of a good burger. With the influx of the ‘no reservations taken, we open at midday so queue up , and we’ve stolen our entire decor idea from somewhere on the Lower East Side’ burger joints, places like Honest Burger, Patty and Bun et al have turned anyone who works and eats in the area into a bona fide burger connoisseur. However, for the quality of the burger and competing in the league of ‘sloppy burgers’, Tommi’s Burger Joint tops them all.

The lunch time and post-work crowd varies, from Hedgies in their chinos who take the short walk from the Mayfair grid to local media types donning customary flannel shirts and all-year-round Movembers. It’s small, smoky and dark, although romantic isn’t exactly a word I’d use to describe it. This is an ideal spot for those who have found themselves in need of a late night burger when their dinner date didn’t quite fill them up, and they’ve spent the last few hours becoming extremely friendly with a cocktail list.

The Order

The menu is incredibly simple with only 5 burger options,  although you can pretty much discard 2 of them (‘burger’ and ‘veggie burger’) from the get go. Go up to the bar at the far end, order the cheese burger and fries (cheese burger, fries and soda = £9.40) and find somewhere to sit whilst you wait for your order. It’s small in here, so you may find yourself either perching up against a wall at an eating shelf or sharing the long table with another group. That said, if you’ve gone down the route of making this your last pit stop before home, you’re likely to be sufficiently boozed and in possession of far lower standards than at the beginning of the date.

The waitress shouts your name and brings you your order in a little straw basket. Unwrap the burger and you’ll realise you’ve got something special; it’s perfectly sized to eat, buns are noticeably fresh and glazed perfectly and the cheese is added in a half decent portion (although it could probably do with a bit more). The burger is simply garnished with a bit of ketchup, mustard, onion, a slice of tomato and lettuce, which adds a welcome crispy bite from an otherwise juicy mouthful. You can also opt to add extra bacon. The patty is cooked slightly pink and is incredibly tender. The chips are slim, crunchy, well salted and get served in healthy portions.

The Game

As I’ve said, this place doesn’t scream or even whisper seduction or romance. If you’re here at the end of the night, you’ve put the ground work in already and are probably onto date number two. This is a BYOB, so there’s the potential for making the experience a bit more exciting (too many whiskey cokes and a trip back to yours?). That said, if you’ve been at dinner, then gone for drinks and finally decided to end up boozing here be prepared to deal with the consequences tomorrow morning, especially if it’s on a school night.

The Faults

It’s very small, so getting a seat could be tricky and the decor takes after many of the dive bars/restaurants of the tramp-chic LES in New York, so be careful with which sort of date you choose to bring here. Don’t expect much action after this either, the small burgers are surprisingly filling and could make for a pretty bloated journey home.

Sex Factor

0 – see ‘faults’ above.

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