Ozone Coffee, Shoreditch

Ozone Coffee Shoreditch
Wanna grab a coffee sometime?
Bling
Rating
Booze
Rating
Sex
Factor

The Vibe

Don’t get me wrong, a sober date isn’t always a walk in the park. Without the social crutches of cocktails, slightly too loud music and the cover of darkness, it’s pretty much you, your date and a potential chasm of silence should you have misjudged how alert you’d be feeling on a Sunday morning. However, similar to places like Caravan that combine excellent coffee with stylish industrial settings, Ozone Coffee is a good looking place. We’re talking factory fixtures salvaged from Lancashire textile mills and converted American streetlamps. It cannily splits the ground floor room into two settings: a bright space at the front where you can perch on a wooden ledge, leaf through the papers and have a warm up Americano, and a booth-lined, far more dimly lit area in the back where you can add a side of brunch to your caffeine and get cosy for a few hours.

The Order

Coffee, yes. Roasted on the premises, Ozone is a famous New Zealand coffee brand as well as a cute Shoreditch café. On top of the noteworthy house-roasted coffee, it’s a much applauded brunch/lunch spot, with a gratifyingly short menu for efficient date ordering. Toasted granola, Eggs Benedict, you know the score. And with various sourdough manifestations and appearances of halloumi and labneh on the menu it has just the right pinch of East London ponce to reassure your date.

The Game

The obvious choice may be to meet for a spot of weekend brunch and see where the day goes. It closes at 4pm on the weekends so head for 2pm, share a muffin or one brunch item between two and focus on sipping away on coffee and asking prying questions before suggesting moving on to a pub.  Operate a high eye-contact policy and, if perched on stools instead of a booth, feel free to grab knees and play-punch them into willing insouciance, till they are relaxed and ready to head wherever you next suggest. Alternatively, and a real swooner every time, make the most of their late night Friday openings. There’s nothing more charming than meeting someone in a coffee shop at night, shirking booze for cappuccinos, muffins and chat, and leaving the place hours later with a more profound knowledge of your date. Then either leave and call it a night (but put in the next date then and there) or make the most of the area and head to Happiness Forgets for a nightcap.

The Faults

On the weekend it would be ideal if they were open later than 4pm.

Sex Factor

0. You’ve gotta be real good to try and bed them after coffee and cake. Chalk this one down to groundwork.

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