Orange Elephant, Chelsea
This is the ‘local’s’ end of the Fulham Road. It’s peppered with excellent restaurants, gazillion pound homes, and endless beautiful people you vaguely think you met once. The new kid on the scene is Orange Elephant – a steak joint that is so beautifully designed and so wonderfully managed that you’ll be putty in their hands before they even tell you about the Tomahawk steak you can opt for if you’re feeling peckish.
The menu is the size of a postcard, and for good reason. Your choices are limited, in the very best of ways. Thinking is not required here – you’ll simply be presented with a delicious starter salad, then the main event of a sirloin steak with chips and the signature sauce. In a real case of first world problems, your only decisions on the night will be a) Do I also want truffle mac and cheese and b) Which cocktail shall I go for?
Meet at the table. It’s small and cosy and you won’t feel like a fool whilst you wait. Start with cocktails and move onto a bottle of the Merlot to accompany your meat. Discuss how pleasant it is to have all choices taken out of your hands, catching their eye as you suggest the enjoyment gained from letting others take control…At which point, assertively request the bill and tell them you’ve got a nightcap at GOAT awaiting you.
No veggie options. But come on….